silly+math+jokes

Math promblems? Call 1-800-[(10//x//)(13//i//)2]-[sin(//xy//)/2.362//x//].

Q: What is the first derivative of a cow? A: Prime Rib!

A woman in a bar tries to pick up a mathematician. "How old, do you think, am I?" she asks coyly. "Well - 18 by that fire in your eyes, 19 by that glow on your cheeks, 20 by that radiance of your face, and adding that up is something you can probably do for yourself..."

Q. What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds? A. A plane cheeseburger.

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank? A: To get his quarter back (Get it - "Quarter Back").

STUDENT: I have the arithmetic bugs again! TEACHER: Arithmetic bugs? STUDENT: Most people call them head lice. TEACHER: Then why do you call them arithmetic bugs? STUDENT: 'Cuz they subtract from my pleasure, add to my misery, divide my attention, and multiply like crazy!!

**How will we ever use negative numbers in the real world?** //You haven't seen my bank account. //

**Why was the math teacher upset with cupid? ** //He kept changing "like terms" to "love terms." //

What is an occupied bathroom on an airplane? a hypotenuse (high - pot - in - use).

What did the math major mean when she called her blind date 288? He's 2 gross

Why do math teachers talk to themselves? - They think the students are listening

what is a metric cookie? a gram cookie

How do you prove in three steps that a sheet of paper is a lazy dog?
 * 1) A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane.
 * 2) An inclined plane is a slope up.
 * 3) A slow pup is a lazy dog.